Yesterday I turned 40 years old. Did you hear what I just said??? 40! The BIG 4-0! How did that even happen?
Like every other “young person” I grew up thinking that 40-year olds were really old. I remember going to birthday parties of people turning 40 and the theme was always “over the hill.” What does that even mean anyway? One definition says “no longer able to do something at an acceptable level because of age; past your/its prime.” Another one simply says “too old for something.” Ouch!
While aging is a natural process of life that we all must just accept (because like it or not…it’s going to happen), I am grateful that I am aging well. I always wondered what I would look like when I was 40. Would I look like a mom? (not even sure what that means!) Would I have gray hair? Would I have wrinkles? Would my husband still find me attractive? I’m here to report that the answer to all of those questions is…..YES! 🙂
To be honest…I wasn’t really excited about celebrating the fact that I was 40. This was me in the morning:
But then I decided to go for a run and do a really good workout, so I started to feel like “ok…I got this! 40 ain’t got nuttin’ on me!”
Later in the evening my boys took me out to dinner. This gave me a perfect excuse to do my hair & makeup! And yes…I need an excuse to do my hair & makeup anymore. It doesn’t just happen just because 🙂
I love these 3 pictures because they accurately reflect the 3 different stages of my life that you would find me in at 40 years old! I either look like I just woke up, like I’m going out for a run, or I actually took time to do my hair & makeup!
(Side note: one of Mateo’s friends from school guessed I was 28 years old! I love that kid 🙂 )
Why do we fear aging or getting old? I think I know why, for me, 40 is hitting me hard.
*My brother died when he was 38. I cannot even imagine what it was like for his wife and kids to lose him at such a young age. I have already lived 2 years longer than my oldest brother. Kind of blows my mind to think about it, really.
*I always thought at 40 I would have a bigger family. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so unbelievably grateful for my husband and for the one son we have on this earth. But I would be lying if I said that the fact that I have two babies in Heaven, and not here with us, doesn’t bother me….all. the. time. I would have loved for Mateo to have siblings. He would have loved that too! I know that being 4o doesn’t make it automatically impossible to have children, but with my condition, it makes it that much harder.
*My body is definitely changing! Metabolism is slowing down, I don’t sleep as well as I use to, and I have to wear these weird socks to bed at night!
Well, I’m just giving away all of my lovely secrets aren’t I??? I have plantar fasciitis in both of my heels, which developed from running so much. These socks hold my feet in a slightly stretched position which is supposed to help eliminate some of the pain I feel on a daily basis. I know….you’re jealous 😉
*And since my mom’s passing, no matter what birthday I am celebrating, it will be without her. All day yesterday I longed to get a call from my mom telling me happy birthday. It’s a weird thing to long for, knowing that it is never going to happen.
But I have to say, at the end of the day, as I was celebrating with the two most important people in my life, all I could feel was blessed.
I mean, here I am, living in Mexico, living my dream of being a missionary and serving God full-time with an amazing husband and awesome son! What more could I ask for? So many friends. So many children in my life. So many amazing experiences. So many blessings.
Honestly, if I died today, I would die the happiest woman on earth. So completely filled with joy. I want for nothing. Need for nothing. Because God has given me everything I could possibly want or need.
So….here’s to being 40 years old! I’ve decided to embrace it and continue to count my blessings. Every second, every hour, every day is a gift. I don’t want to miss a thing in this life cause I was too busy worrying about being fat, being old, or my gray hair. There are too many people in my life to love on, to cherish, and to spend time with. There are races to be ran….and praise God that I still have the ability to run! There are mountains to climb, trails to hike, and silly nerf wars to play with my son. There are people who need to hear about Jesus! I don’t want to miss a thing.
And can we just talk about how handsome my husband is??? I mean….sheesh! He turns 40 in December. I think he’s got this.
I am blessed.